Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey

Umm...I just don't know about this couple, they sort of scare me, like Mickey in that picture. Where did this relationship come from and how does it work? You have bombshell Mariah with dufus Nick Cannon. I think Mariah is trying to hold on to her youth, girl do what you got to do! I'm just waiting for this relationships inevitable demise. Don't say I didn't tell you so!

Just Wanted to Share

I just wanted to share this quote I read with my readers: "Rosa sat so Martin could walk, Martin walked so Obama could run, Obama ran so our children could fly". Make sure you vote this November 4th, our children's lives are at stake!

Hood Rat Chicks

So I previously spoke about my "Fronters," so now I must pay homage to my "hood rat chicks." I must say that I grew up in the "hood," Ocean Avenue and Albermarle, couldn't be any more Flatbush. I watched the drug dealers deal, heard the gun shots through the night, had the lights beaming through my window from the NYPD helicopters. We left when I saw the shooter run up the stairs and my mom get out of the elevator 1 second later. I know the "hood," I'm a product of it but a fine product that is...lol.

Though I was raised in the "hood", it doesn't mean I don't know how to articulate. It doesn't mean I don't know the difference between what you wear to the club and what you wear to work. I know that having a baby daddy is not a cool thing and having relations with a guy because he has a fly car is not the highlight of my life. I just wish some of these girls understood that there is a whole life outside of Bedstuy, Brownsville and Williamsburg. I read alot as a child so I got to envision life outside of the "hood."

It disturbs me to see young woman cursing up a storm, or letting some guy grope them in public. When every word out of her mouth is a curse I wonder how well she's doing in school and how well she will do on her first job interview, besides McDonald's. How far in life can someone go if they cannot speak properly. Now those who know me know that I can switch up, I can roll with the best of them but I know when its' appropriate and when it is not. I'm not trying to take away from the "hood" but you have got to know when to leave it behind.

Being a product of the hood doesn't make someone any less of person unless what they take from it, is what was given. You've got to rise above the circumstances and want more than it offers. Don't forget where you came from but know where you going and what its going to take to get there!

Cocky Vs. Confident

There is a difference between cockiness and confidence. What's the difference you ask? People who are confident are able to validate it with intelligence and personality, unlike people who are cocky who have no real ground to stand on because there is no actual basis for their cockiness. I think confidence in yourself is a good thing. Though people may praise you for accomplishments no praise is better than self praise.

Its never good enough to do things for the sake other people so why would it be good enough to only accept praise from others. Being able to acknowledge that you've done a good job is not a bad thing. Its' actually what motivates you to continue to do good things. I had a friend tell me self praise is no praise at all, well to me self praise is the best praise, it says that you are aware of who you are and understand that ultimately you have to answer to yourself when all is said and done.

Cocky people are searching for reassurance, whereas confident people are just acknowleding what they already know to be true.

By Request

One of my readers requested that I ask this question in my next blog.The question to my readers is this, what do you do when your friends girlfriend/boyfriend hits on you?
I'll answer the question first since its my blog...lol. Personally, I would just laugh it off. I would pretend he is joking and make light of the situation until he realizes that he won't be getting anywhere fast. If he didn't get the hint I would tell him that I wouldn't want to hurt my friends feelings by getting involved with him so he's barking up the wrong tree.

In my opinion, he must not think much of me if he thinks I would stoop low enough to cheat with him.

Woman FYI

Treat your man like the King he thinks he is: Yes, that may mean biting that tongue when you know what's going to come out ladies. Men like to feel in charge, so let him take the lead. Sometimes in public we have to put on a different facade then what goes on behind closed doors.

Allow him to be honest with you: You have to be open to what men have to say even if you may not like it. If he knows he can talk to you without blowing your top then guess what, he'll talk to you. That doesn't mean that you can't call your bestie and scream at her about the crap he just told you!

Give him attention: Though men may not act like it, they love attention just as much as women, if not more. Its' the kind of attention that matters though. Don't call him 10 times in an hour but do shower him with kisses when you see him, he wants to know his lady has got the hots for him.

You've got to love him and his friends: At times we may think that we're only getting the man but you have also gotten into a relationship with his friends as well. Trust me there not going nowhere, so better you have a good relationship than think that his best friend is talking bad about you behind your back.

Show interest in his interest: My ex loved cars and as a result of that I have a love for cars. Sometimes what they like may be boring as hell or you end up loving it too but make an effort, it shows him that you're interested in every aspect of him.

Ladies, if you want a good man you've got to be a good woman!

A Blast From The Past

I used to hang out frequently with my brother when we were younger, we would go to parties together. This particular time I was with him and his girlfriend. Before going out we went to house and had some drinks and then set off on our adventure. As we were parked waiting for one of his friends a vehicle pulled up behind us and began to honk. My brothers' girlfriend, a little intoxicated at the time, screamed out the window for them to wait. Next thing I knew a hand was coming through the window and had made contact with my brothers' girlfriends face. She hopped out of the car and the fight began. Now she was a tough cookie so she was handling her own but next thing I knew I caught one of the blows right to my head, for being the innocent drunk bystander. This stories lesson, if you've been drinking and people are fighting stay in the car!

Your Ex, My New Boyfriend?

The verdict is in, I conducted a poll asking my readers if it was okay to date a friend's ex and the results were unanimous....No! I think that dating an ex of my friends is just unethical for several reasons. First, you have to imagine every time that you're with that person that what you're doing with them your friend did as well and you have to wonder who he thinks is doing it better (if you get what I mean.) At times that comparison is just too much to bear.

Secondly, you never really know if the ex's feelings for you or genuine or them trying to get back at your friend. They could have intentionally picked you to pay back some hurt feelings that they are dealing with. You could just be playing a pawn in the game of chess and you're not even aware of it.

Thirdly, friendship that is deeply rooted should never cross those lines. Ex's are just suppose to be off limits because...their suppose to be! If you suddenly have the hots for my ex, I have to assume that those feelings were there way before he and I broke up, which leads me to think all the times I cried to my friend about my ex and she was the first to tell me to leave him, what were her real intentions? All in all, I think these may be one of those situations that test the authenticity of a friendship. I think a real friend knows whats acceptable and what is not!

Thank God for Sanity

Working in a Psychiatric unit has taught me many valuable lessons. The most important...thank God for my sanity. To understand "craziness" is to see someone live it everyday of their lives. To have no control over your emotions, or thoughts is not a pleasant feeling.

Before working in a psych unit, I used the word crazy very loosely. Everyone was crazy to me but mental illness is nothing like I thought it would be. I've had moments of hysterics, anger and sadness at work. When I see a 19 year old with newly diagnosed Schizophrenia, I already know in which direction his life is going to go. When I meet a person who has borderline personality disorder, I know by then end of the night I'll be pulling out my hair, and my favorite patient, I'll call her RM, was a model in the 70's, so she says, and she can fit all of my clothes even though I'm a 2 and she's a 10...lol.

What we have to be thankful for is our sanity. The ability to make decisions and not have your thoughts control you is a luxury. Not feeling suicidal or attempting to kill yourself is a luxury. Not feeling so depressed that getting out of bed for days at a time eludes you is a luxury. We all have our moments in life when the chips are down but just imagine those who don't have the support you have, or the insight to make decisions which are conducive to your life. Again, be grateful that you're on the outside of the padded walls.

T-Mobile G1 Phone

The new T-Mobile G1 Phone is coming out October 22nd. Its' powered by Google and is the T-Mobile version of the I-Phone. 3G capabilities, touch screen and full qwerty board that slides out. Mine will be arriving November 10th...lol

The Other Woman

Those who know me can accurately say that I've never been the other woman, its' not in my genes. I'm too selfish to ever take on that title but some women find it fulfilling almost challenging. My take on it, you have to be one messed up individual to want what's not yours. That's' a little desperate to me and a show of someone who doesn't think themselves worthy enough to have someone all to yourself.

If you're the other woman, figure out what's lacking in you that makes that acceptable. Whether its' a lack of self-esteem or lack of respect for yourself or others, get it together. You should never be alright with being second. You're worth so much more than that and you will find that person who feels the same way about you, you just have to be willing to look.

A Farewell Message!

Just wanted to tell my dedicated readers that I'll be on hiatus until October 26th, I'm off to Georgia to celebrate my birthday. Be back on Monday to get the scoop on my trip and all the interesting things still going through my head! If I get bored enough though I may just post through my blackberry...lol

Celebrity of The Week

Oh yes, I love me some Denzel, who doesn't? Women and men alike are intrigued by this man. He has an air about him. MARRIED 25 years to the same woman and has never fallen off of his game. His movies are riveting, his performances stellar, and you just can't get enough of the "Denzel look", ladies know what I'm talking about. His "swag" on point, watch him as he walks away...lol. I must say if I died and came back as a male actor, it would have to be him, or Morgan Freeman in his younger days.

Breaking Up Was Never Easy but Now It Is!

Breaking up is tough thing to do when you know you're going to hurt the other persons feelings but how you do it is even more important. With the creation of text and instant messaging people have been given a new and easier way to break up.

Though I've never done the breaking up thing in text, I have used it as an outlet to say things I just wouldn't say if the person were standing right in front me. Having text messaging is like having a shot of patron. It takes the edge off. We become people we never thought we were when you're miles away and don't have to see the reaction of the person we're speaking to.

Though at times we want to take the easy way out, I've learned certain things are better said in person. Even though you don't want to give the other person an explanation for the break-up, which is why most people dread it, sending a text message doesn't even allow the opportunity for a decent conversation. Its only fair to the other person that they know why things didn't work out.

If you were thinking about making it easier on yourself by breaking up through texting or IM just imagine how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot or better yet if the phone were in the other hand.

FYI Guys!

Never make plans you know you cant keep: A woman hates to be stood up. When she's changed all her plans to spend some time with you and you show no regard for her time it doesn't leave a good impression. If a woman wants to spend time with you its' because she likes to because she'd rather be at home dancing in from of the mirror to the new Beyonce song.

If you get caught in a lie admit it and apologize: Nothing shows a woman how mature and honest you are then admitting you're wrong and apologizing about it. It takes a good man to own up to his mistakes, a very attractive trait.

If you love her, tell her: Woman know its' hard for a man to express his feelings so when you do express how you feel she knows its genuine. Every woman wants to know that their loved by their significant other and though gifts are nice hearing it is even nicer.

Communication is key Knowing what's going on in her man's head is every woman's dream. So, talk to her, let her know what's going on in your life. Woman hate to find out that you were going through tough times and she had no idea.

Make her laugh! Who doesn't like a good laugh but woman especially love a man who has a sense of humor. If you're not good with jokes try tickling her...lol

I'm telling you if you follow my advice, she'll never leave your side!

It Is What It Is!

At times we can become a little naïve about our expectations of people. I always set them high and allow people to deduct their own cool points. But at times you can be reallly thrown off track when you know in your heart of hearts that certain people will not let you down.

At these times I have to say to myself, when someone shows you who they are you have to believe them. Some people do not share the same moral codes as we all do. I was surprised by a certain persons' behavior today and I had to remind myself that everyone is not who they seem. What we may create in our minds as the ideal person may not be an accurate depiction.

I believe that's one of the lessons I have yet to fully understand. I always look for the good in others to a default but I hate to think that people are just innately immoral and unrepentent. I don't think I ever want to think of someone as a bad person even before I've given them a chance but sometimes you have to take it as you see it.

Slavery's Effects on Our Culture

What has slavery done to the Black Family? Some think slavery is something that happened in the past that was horrible and ended. I believe slavery has left an indelible mark on the black family.

Imagine the devastation of men being ripped from their families, watching their wives being raped. The man, the staple of the family, with no control over his home. He is stripped of his dignity and pride and made to feel like an animal.

The psychological effect this has on his manhood is profound. It tore the black family apart. I think it still riddles a majority of our black families today. Father's who don't feel the need to be part of their children's' lives is an idea that is indigent to our black communities.

In order to conquer someone you must make them less than you and slavery still has those effects. Ultimately, I think slavery did what it intended to do. It disabled our young black men and made them feel inferior and took away the pride and self-esteem that black cultures once held. Not to get back on the election topic, but Barack Obama is a blessing in disguise, he is the hope of the young black man.

I don't care about the 40 acres in a mule, what's crucial is that our young black men feel confident in their abilities and understand the line of men that they came from. Strong black men, so strong that they were brutalized and exterminated because they were feared. It was fear that initiated slavery, a fear of their potential for greatness.

I Knew I Was Special!!!

Oh Sheila, The white version, hilarious!!!

Fronters!

Picture this, you meet this guy, he's driving a brand new BMW 745, rims and all. He has on the most expensive jeans, he's got diamonds in his ear, on his arm and around his neck. You think "wow this guy must really be doing good for himself." Than he takes you to his place and he lives in the damn projects and the worst one at that.

Why!!! Why do certain guys insist on living above there means. Why not save all that money and purchase a condo at the least. But ladies I have some tips for you...lol. If his license plate cover says "Major World" on it, he's a fronter and his credit is horrible! Do you often see him driving different cars, like my friend Cavanie would say, its' probably a rental! Does he pay for everything on his credit or debit card, the credit card is usually a back-up not a primary form of payment! Now I'm just being silly but you should seek out someone who has their priorities in order. Is he educated, responsible and goal-oriented? These are the things which are important, don't be fooled by the glamour!

With Age Comes Wisdom

Next week Thursday is my birthday and I'll be turning the Big 21...lol for those of you who know me, you get the joke. I remember being younger and wishing old age so that I could do all things adults do and then I got older and started paying bills and wanted to be a child again. Now I'm okay with my age.

With age comes wisdom. What I didn't know as a child, I've learned as an adult. Such as, acquaintances come and go but friends are there for the long haul. Relationships don't always turn out the way we want them to but they turn out the way their suppose to. Everything is a life lesson, you either learn from it or repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Family is not only the people who share your blood line. Work should be fun and should never feel like a chore. Lastly, God is the only man who fulfills all your needs.

Though I still look like I'm eighteen, my chronological age is creeping up there but I'm happy with where I am in life. I'm not taking one day for granted. So as I count down the days until the day of my birth, I also count my blessings. There is no greater blessing than to have lived (cough, cough)for 21 years on this earth and hopefully many more!