Marriage...not for the faint of heart.

Marriage is a wonderful thing, a test of maturity, of love and endurance. How much you're willing to compromise plays a huge factor in the success of a marriage. It truly is a bond of two becoming one. Decisions are no longer made alone but as a unit. They don't only affect one individual but two. I know that as an individual who was very independent and dependent on myself adjusting to allowing my husband to be the "man" , was and still is a test of my will. Sometimes as a woman whose taken care of herself it's hard to let someone else do things for me. Marriage is a learning experience and I'm learning.

Marriage is far from a walk in the park, you have to put in work to make it work. Communication is key. You have to be able to talk about things that are bothering you and really make a conscious effort to improve the things that need improvement. For instance, I nag, sometimes...lol. So I'm learning to let some things go. I certainly am not perfect nor is my mate so something's just need to get swept under the rug. On the other hand never let something fester to the point of jeopardizing your relationship. Things that are really worh talking about should be discussed without hurting each others feelings. All in all, marriage is a beautiful thing, you have someone in your corner 24/7, I don't go through anything alone, my husband is by my side always and that's a great feeling.

It is what it Is....

As a young adult, I had the impression that my friendships were never ending. Nothing and no one could get in the way of long term friendships. Boy was I wrong. When I became engaged to my now husband, I learned a lot about the people in my life. Not every one is happy for your happiness. Sad but true. Individuals who I confided it and thought were going to be in my life for the long haul suddenly removed themselves from my life. Was I hurt? Yes. Was I shocked? Absolutely. Did my life end? I'm writing this blog right now so I'm good.

While some people did show themselves true, others really stepped up to the friend plate. People who I didn't expect to go above and beyond really did and others who were there for me emotionally made me feel like though I had lost, I also gained. I would hope that friends would want to share in the wonderful moments in your life but that's not always the case. I'm not mad, not complaining, just thankful that I learned sooner rather than later.

My first....

My first kiss was horrible, he slobbered all over me and this foreign object was trying to make its way into my mouth. By the time we were done I needed a napkin to wipe my face. Hated kissing then, when I had no idea what to do, now its' not so bad.

My first trip out of the state was to Florida, I was 16. My trip was scheduled a week after TWA flight 800 crashed into the ocean. I had a heart attack. My mom gave me a rosary to carry on the plane. By the time I got off, I had an imprint of a rosary in my palm, needless to say I made it safe but I always pray right as I'm getting on the plane and I always look for babies, God wouldn't take their lives so early in the game...lol

My first trip to the Statue of Liberty occurred after 27 years of living in New York, after having been born in Kings County Hospital. Yes its a shame, so what! At least I did it. A wonderful experience it was too.

My first job, I worked at a corporate daycare center. I made 8$/hr, I was 16 and on cloud nine. I loved my job, loved my paychecks and spent the most money on clothes in probably all my life. It was a great experience for different reasons, met 3 of my good friends there, learned how to run a program all on my own and realized two kids is more than enough.

On and Off....

I've had the unfortunate opportunity of meeting people who have dysfunctional personalities. Individuals in particular who are like light switches. They turn on an off depending on which direction the wind is blowing. Now don't get me wrong, I can be the same way to a certain extent. I only become like this when someone has done something that is truly disrespectful or who I no longer feels deserves me in their life. (Yes I think I'm that special) However, I do not turn on and off like a light switch from Monday to Tuesday, of the same week! Nor does my light switch get turned back on once it is off.


Those kinds of people I have little patience for. You will not laugh and joke with me today and then act like I killed your mother the next day and assume on the third day we're friends. I don't do fake superficial friendships, either I'm in it or I'm not. If I don't like you, you'll know because there will be no conversation held. Yes, I'm that real! I don't sugar coat or pretend, it's not part of who I am.

I think it is very childish for these individuals to believe that this behavior is acceptable. It is not and actually these people need help. Everyone has issues in their lives. We all walk around with burdens on our shoulders, but to take those things out on the people around us is absolutely inappropriate. So if someone turns off their light switch for me, keep it off, cut the electricity, I'll find my light somewhere else.

You Don't Know What You've Got Til Its' Gone.....

We see this scenario play itself out so many times. You're dating someone, you're giving 150% of yourself, bending over backwards to be the best person you can be and things don't work out for whatever reason. You're beating yourself up wondering what you could have done to change things. The answer is nothing, for many different reasons.

The number one reason for me is that God didn't want that for me, because if he did it would have worked out. I would have got the same effort that I gave in return. You see the saying goes, if you want to hear God laugh, make plans. So no amount of affection, or love, or good will would make that person want you, it's just not meant to be. What will be for you, will be...Que Serra Serra.

And sometimes you meet people who just don't appreciate how good you are. They take for granted your kindness, your love. They don't appreciate you until you're no longer there giving them your all. That's typical, its the nature of people to take others for granted. We do it everyday when someone does something for us and we don't say Thank You, the simplest form of appreciation.

If you're the person taking someone for granted, check yourself before you wreck yourself...lol. Know and appreciate a good thing when you've got it, those don't come along too often. If you're the under appreciated don't fret, there is always someone out that it will see you for who and want you are and cherish you, for all the days of your life.

I'm Baccckkk!....A Good Man

So it's been a minute since I've voiced my opinion on some things. A lot has been going on, I'm done with nursing school, officially a Registered Nurse and my lonely days are over. Things are going in the right direction and since they are I can speak on certain things now.

What's a good man? Oh I wondered for oh so long what a good man was. Was he attractive? Was he rich? Was he a go getter? I wondered what a good man would be and even put some people in that category who didn't deserve the title. My sister gave me some good advice one day, she said "pray on it," and boy did I.
I didn't leave one requirement out and for a long time I waited, waited and prayed. You see the problem with women is sometimes we're drawn to what's not good for us. We're drawn to the bad boy, trying to change his ways and make him see that we're the "One." What a horrible way to start anything.

How do you start any relationship? You become friends, you talk about life, what your goals are, what your expectations are for people in your life and you gauge whether you and that person share the same views. Friendship is the foundation for all relationships. Ultimately we aim not to hurt our friends. You laugh with your friends, you're honest with your friends, you share all your hopes, dreams and aspirations with them. So you can imagine what a relationship based on friendship would feel like. It's fulfilling, for both individuals.

What's most important is that when you're praying for this significant other you pray for the right things. The superficial things won't get you far, good looks won't pay the bills, but a motivated person will. A rich person won't fill your heart with love, but someone who walks in the light of the Lord will love you from the bottom of their heart. Just be specific when you're praying. Know what you want and what's important to you.

Obstacles...

I thought to myself the other day, "Wow, God must think highly of me." Why you may ask...well he's always setting me up. He always throws some obstacle in my path, giving me a new challenge to overcome but I take it with stride. I take it with stride because he thinks enough of me to make me stronger for the next thing. He thinks I can handle some things so he throws them my way. I have to appreciate a father like that.

Don't get me wrong I have my moments, that split second when I say "why me" and then I quickly jump out of that mind set. I start to think, "why not me?"....I am equipped with the tools and knowledge to overcome any situation that arises. That's what I am built for. Quitting is never an option, the only option is success. I thrive off of it. I am made better every time I said to myself that I can't and I do. I am made better every time someone said I couldn't and I did.

Sometimes people feel they are given the short end of the stick and to some people it may look like I've got it real easy but no one knows my struggles, where I've come from and how I got to where I am now. His challenges made me who I am today. I'm not built Ford tough, I'm built God tough. He sustains me and now in another couple of weeks I would have met another challenge and defeated it but it won't end there. Life is all about being better than yesterday and even greater tomorrow.

Dawn Richards- If I Could

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Role Models...

I get a call from my older sister about 2 days ago asking me if Rihanna and Chris Brown got back together. Now I'm a little thrown off by this because my sister could care less about what goes on in the entertainment world, she lives in a world of her own. I reply, "Yes, I believe they are back together" and I hear creams into the phone. I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it like it's a monster and then go on to ask my sister what her problem is. She says we need to call my niece, Talhia, who is 15.

Now at this point I'm a little thrown off and I ask her why. She says to me that Rihanna has just given my niece an inappropriate view of what happens when a man puts his hand on you. It is unacceptable and therefore she is setting a poor example to young girls around the world. I have a totally different viewpoint. Rihanna, Chris Brown, Puff Daddy, nor Denzel Washington will ever be the example for my children. Celebrities are not role models, I repeat, celebrities are not Role models. They are people who are fortunate enough to have became famous and be rich and be plunged into the limelight whether they like it or not and guess what not all of them are good people to begin with.

There are tons of women who get beat every single day, they dust themselves off and continue on with their lives with their abusive spouses. Those are their choices to make and we don't control those decisions, nor do we control the decisions celebrities make. Rihanna is no different from that abused women, what's wrong with her is that she doesn't have the self worth to realize that a man has absolutely no right to lay his hands on you. That is the lesson to be taught to young girls everyday, not just when a celebrity figure gets a beat down from her boyfriend. Young girls need to know that they are valued, loved and cherished and deserved to be treated accordingly. These celebrities are human. So again, I reiterate celebrities are not role models, please be the example for those young impressionable minds that are in your presence don't allow the media to taint there vision.

Interesting...

So my friend and I were having a conversation a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about a dress that I wanted to get. Of course women must be very meticulous when picking out clothing for a special event because our first goal is to make sure that what we have on is "original". Who wants to have the spotlight shared? We go to extremes to ensure that our ensemble is like no other. Going to little boutiques, special ordering dresses or even taking our shopping spree miles away from where we live.

My male friend brought up a very good point. He said "Who cares." As per him, if a man were to go to a gathering and another man had on the same shirt, tie or even the same outfit, it would be a compliment and the conversation would go like this "You've got good taste"...lol. A woman on the other hand would try to hide herself in a little corner, upset that the outfit that she tried so hard to put together, was sharing the spotlight with another.

I used to have a friend that would ask me before we were going out what I was wearing, only to go pick her up to look like the bopsie twins. It was annoying! We all know the saying, "we weren't born together" and I certainly don't want to have everyone thinking I'm in elementary school trying to match outfits. So how did I deal with this situation, I started lying to her. She eventually got the point. Woman are attention seekers, at least most women are and when that attention is being diverted especially because the outfit you are wearing is being outworn by someone else it can be a little disturbing...lol.

Def Poetry Jam- "Hit Like A Man"

This speaks for itself....

Wow..Couldn't Have Been Said Any Better!

The Making of Gibberish by Ryan Leslie

So some people didn't understand the concept of the whole song but I think when you watch what went into making the song you have a greater appreciation for it. Music is an art form, there are many colors that can be painted on the canvas and this is just another form of music, I think at its' best. If you have ever heard of "scat" singing used in many songs of Jazz musicians, this a modern day version. Hope you enjoy it better now :o)

Domestic Violence...

When we hear the stories about domestic violence, we often hear of a woman getting battered by her spouse, a male. This is not true for all stories though, there are men who are getting physically abused as well, whose stories go untold. Abuse is abuse whether it is towards a male or female. Men are just less likely to say something about it for fear of being ridiculed.

I have seen relationships in which the female was physically and emotionally abusive to her spouse. More emotionally than anything but she had her episodes of physical abuse as well. There are some men who were raised never to lay a hand on a woman and so they endure the abuse. Or they may even feel like there actions have left them in such a predicament that they deserve the abuse and just like some women they may be battling some self-esteem issues which lead them to believe they don't deserve any better.

I feel whether it's a female or male abuse is not warranted towards either party. No one has the right to lay hands on you as a form of punishment (except your parents of course). Abuse is just a way of the abuser to gain control of what they feel they have no control over. Unfortunately, the abuser doesn't change. Whatever underlying issues that are causing them to be an abuser must be dealt with in order to rectify the situation, so flowers and cards and beautiful gifts will not change the situation. Whether male or female, the only option is to leave, that person doesn't respect nor love you if they are hurting you.

Trouble in Paradise?

Seems ReRe and Chris have fallen off of cloud nine, but than again they were never on cloud nine together since they were not "dating"...allegedly. Now there are different stories being through around but supposedly it came to fisticuffs between the two in a vehicle. ReRe was thrown out of said vehicle and a bystander called the POPO..lol...allegedly. Now I don't how true all of this is but my boy Chris does not look like a woman beater, but than you just never know. Either way the two canceled there Grammy performances and Chris turned himself in and was let out on 50,000 dollars bail. Hmph...I'm saddened by all of this, is there any such thing as a perfect relationship?

Ryan Leslie- Gibberish

I don't know what it is I love about this song even though you can't understand the words the feel of it puts me in this totally different place. I imaginge a dark night club, had a little to drink and you're dancing with this gorgeous guy/girl and you don't hear the words because you're so entwined in the moment, he/she is holding you tight and you just don't want it to end. I love it.

Guess Whose Back!

Important update: My President is Black! Another historical moment, which we were all given the opportunity to witness. I'm so excited about the "Barack" movement. The world is watching, waiting and listening. There is a vibration of things to come, there is a unity amongst us that hasn't touched this country in a long time. The time for change has come people, you're either on the bandwagon or getting trampled by it. Its' a time for sacrifices great and small. Its about all of us doing our part.

I know it's been a while since I have actually written a blog, posting youtube videos is easier to do when life is a little hectic. There some things I think are important to repeat because sometimes we forget their importance. "God is Good," through the toughest days and darkest nights, he prevails. Believe in his awesome power and there is no task too big for him to accomplish. All you have to do is believe in his power to change things, believe in his power to give you the tools to make things right when they are wrong and believe in the strength that he has given you to overcome any obstacle. That is why he is the great "I AM."

Women's FYI: I have found that the best praise is self praise. Love what you see in the mirror flaws and all. Appreciate every curve, there or lacking. He created you in his likeness and true beauty shines from within. There is nothing more beautiful than a kind, compassionate, soul. It radiates like the sun on a summer day. Be the best you, that you can be because before you can love anyone else, you must love that which will be the beacon for love.

Guy's FYI: There is nothing more sexy than a man who is sure of himself. Confidence is infectious. Be proud of who you are and stand for something. It's not enough to roll with the punches. Be respected for being different.

The Office- Greatest Moments

Keisha Chante- Next Aaliyah?

This is Keisha Chante a Canadian born R&B singer who is set to play Aaliyah in a movie of her life. So far she's got the look down and by the looks of the video dancing won't be an issue for her. I was and still am an Aaliyah fan so I hope she does my girl some justice. Check out Keisha Chante's video "Been Gone" below.

Puffy Interviewing Barack Obama 2004...

Check out this video from four years ago...God always has a plan and purpose for you...